home is where the heart is

I've often thought about this phrase and how it applies to me - in the last 10 years I've had a bit of trouble defining exactly where my 'home' is - where do I belong? Where do I fit in? Where is the place where I feel most comfortable, most able to be me - because that is surely what home is - a place where one can relax, a place of peace and quiet, where you are surrounded by loved people and things.

When it comes to cities, I will always think of Cape Town as home but as the years go by Auckland has also become a place where I feel happy and comfortable. My daughters were born here, my husband is from here - this is where our family was made and moulded.

As far as a roof over our heads is concerned, we have been living a rather nomadic life during the last 10 years, moving 5 times but our 'dream home' is within reach at last. We're renting a house while we look for some land to build a family home, somewhere we can spend the next 15 or 20 years, a place where we can plant a tree and watch it grow (I'm going to blog about this process at my new blog home sweet home!)

Through all these changes I've sometimes felt lost, anchorless, as if I am bobbing around in an ocean waiting to be washed up on shore. The things that have kept me afloat has been the love and support of family, near and far - and friends, old and new. And also the gradual deepening of my awareness of Who I Am - in a wider sense. I no longer feel that where I live or what I own or how I look or even what I eat will keep me safe.

I do know without a doubt that the feeling of Being at Home, is so much more about being comfortable in my own skin and having faith in the path of Life than about living in any particular place.

The world is an oyster and the pearl we so long to find is really the beating of our hearts, the air that we breathe, and memories we hold dear - the sum of every moment that has made us what we are today - right here, right now.

Wheresoever you go, go with all your
heart.
-Confucius-